Why I Avoid the Female (at all costs), part 1

Departing from my central concern, from the familiar (as should be done, and will be, on a regular basis), I want to talk to you today about an oft overlooked social currency: sex. And particularly, the way that females have manipulated sex, the way females yield their sexuality to enslave mankind—and, indeed, have been doing so since the dawn of humanity.

Their tactic was subtle, brilliant: the reversal. First and foremost, the issue had to be confused; rather than enslaving men, females made themselves the subject of enslavement. Their seduction (the females) was so thorough, so profound, that mankind never had a chance. From the Renaissance through to the Victorian era, men have thought they were on top, but unbeknownst to them, females had enslaved themselves as a tactic of survival. They weren’t the ones working—men were! Men were the truly enslaved: the tyranny of capitalism was the final coup de grace. With the 70 hour work week thrust upon them, men became drenched in their enslavement, utter zombies.

And, when man finally awoke, upon finally realizing his despicable enslavement, females confused the issue further: the inauguration of contemporary feminist theory. Before man could respond, he was enslaved further—he was punished for an enslavement of the female that the female, in all her subtlety, had inflicted upon herself. Hence, man was forever doomed to servitude. Yes, the female did relinquish certain things: she began to work. But with this work, she introduced a weapon far more powerful than any man had laid eyes upon before: her raw sexuality.

The conclusion to be made is blindingly obvious, so obvious in fact, that it is no wonder it has escaped us for so long: the female is a shameless vampire, relentlessly raping and sucking man dry; and man, as a result, is a zombie, a blind servant to the every whimsy of his female counterpart.

You may wonder, why should we (mankind) even care? Is it not obvious? The female has sullied synesthesia through a sensual enslavement—with no other purpose than to ensure that her sexuality was our only sensual experience. Indeed, the female has castrated us, sensually, synesthetically. We must overcome her control, if we ever hope to return to our true state, to a synesthetic world, a world teeming with sensuality.